Motivation is what moves us to action and that varies from person to person. Motivation is not a one size fits all . Fear may paralyze one person, but it may be a motivator for someone else. The same could be said about grief, lack of security, not feeling valued or appreciated, poor leadership, or boredom. While these can be crippling forces, they can also be the very things that get you to move mountains.
What is the trigger?
Pain.
Motivation arises when the pain of regret is much bigger than the pain of action.
Anthony Burgess, for instance, was diagnosed with brain cancer and was told he had one year to live. He was terrified by the prospect of leaving his wife without financial support. So instead of languishing in inaction, he asked himself: What can I do? This question transformed the fear into urgent action. He put the first piece of paper in the typewriter. He wrote furiously until he had his first novel. He didn’t stop there. He kept going and within one year he had not one, but five novels. At this point in time, surprisingly his cancer had gone into remission.
What about J. K. Rowling. “An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless ... By every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew," Rowling said during a 2008 Harvard University commencement speech. The lowest point in her life provided her with the courage to write her first Harry Potter. How did she this possibility? She wondered what was the one action that was possible. She found writing.
Richard Branson, who has dyslexia and ADHD, was considered an academic failure. Before he even got started, he was labeled a flop. At the age of 16, he dropped out of high school to start his first venture. From that moment, he found no reason to stop. He eventually started his own record shop with a small loan, long before he would go on to become one of the most prominent and successful businessmen in the UK and the world.
Oprah was born into extreme poverty in rural Mississippi and brought up in inner city Milwaukee. She was sexually molested from the age of 9 to 14 by her cousin and became pregnant. Her baby died only two weeks old. She dropped out of college to pursue a career in media, yet she was sexually harassed and humiliated. Despite all this, she is the richest African-American of the past century, with a net worth of three billion dollars. Some consider her to be the most influential woman in the world.
Nick Vujicic was born without arms and legs. Rejection and bullying were common during his childhood. However the normalcy of his life defies the limits of possibility. He has Bachelor’s degrees in accounting and financial planning. He’s married with two children. Imagine. He is among a small group of seven known people worldwide with this condition. These seemingly “normal” accomplishments are topped by his prolific speaking career.
All of these people could have been paralyzed. They had enough reasons to cry and crumble to the ground: cancer, marital failure, unemployment, single parenting, poverty, dyslexia, ADHD, racism, sexism, bullying, no limbs. Did they?
Remember what Charles R. Swindoll told us: “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it”. Yes, motivation is an inside game. Motivation or paralysis is born by the way we perceive what happens to us . This perception changes our feelings, our actions and obviously our results.
To stimulate motivation (not paralysis) we need to learn to ask better questions. Think about it. What happens when you ask,
- Why does this happen to me? Or worse: why does this keep happening to me?
All of these questions are demotivating. They are devastating. No matter how you answer them you’ll feel even worse afterwards. Even if you don’t answer them, the very same will happen.
Are you ready to achieve life changing results?
Learn the hacks to finally feel: If I can do this, what else can I do?
You need to ask better questions. You need to ask appreciative, open ended, exciting, motivating questions. What about this ones.
- How can I make my life vibrant right now?
- Could this (fear, grief or boredom) be a blessing to help make better choices?
- What can I learn from this?
- How can I make this perfect?
- How can I transform this into a new beginning?
- Is there something to laugh about here?
Imagine what Anthony Burgess asked himself when he was diagnosed with cancer. Imagine what J. K. Rowling asked herself when she started writing Harry Potter. Imagine which question motivated Richard Branson to set up his first business after dropping out of school. Imagine your own heroes in the depths of darkness. Consider a question that catapults you to grow and expand. Answer it. Do it. Then ask yourself: If I can do this, what else can I do?
Welcome to never ending motivation.
I sincerely hope that this blog has moved you and from now on you are able to ask moving questions in the moments of darkness and disappear. My objective has been achieved by showing with you the door out of the “couch”.
However if you want more, if you want support in those dark days, I invite you to see what I've created for you: “” Program. This is a powerful experience that will help you learn to ask empowering and motivating question. I will support you, encourage you and motivate you to get done your favorite bold project and as a consequence massively change your beliefs, aka rewire your brain. Yes! Having finally achieved a mighty goal will have more benefits to you than just achieving it. It will literally change your brain and your life. Come and check it out here.