Golden nuggets on the Women Economic Forum

I was invited to speak at the Women Economic Forum: women power empowering and reinventing Europe. I didn’t know what to expect. The name sounded so enticing. I didn’t even know how they learned about me. Little by little I answered all these questions and became deeply grateful for this great gift.

Here I’ll share the most wonderful things I learned during this two days and also during the process of getting there. By the way, all of them are labeled as ONE because they are all great.

1. Be Open to Receive Support from Unexpected Sources. Years ago when I was pregnant of my daughter, I was a runway model for one day. It was a wonderful risk to take. I didn’t know modeling and my pregnancy was not precisely supportive of running up and down hallways and change one outfit into the other. Anyhow, that was inspiration enough for a lady present there to start following my work. She didn’t say it but I suspect I might have influenced her quitting the corporate world and starting her own business. She was the kind soul who thought about inviting me to speak here. I’m terribly grateful to her: If you want lovely and healthy food, she has all the secrets. Follow her here: www.appetitvoyage.com

1. Pay any price to be in proximity to greatness. There were so many highly regarded personalities attending: ambassadors, members of the Dutch Royal Family and people from all over the world. Did they pay me to speak? No. Did they give me free entrance because I was a speaker? No. I had to pay my entrance fee, just like everyone else. I got so much from it: I learned a lot, I met wonderful people, I got another pick experience (my first speech made me feel alive, like if time didn’t exist, like if I was made of electricity. Wow!) It was a terrific investment.

1. The Joy of Missing Out. I had a terribly busy week. I worked with my blessed students of the TU Delft. I met with a potential new corporate customer. I was hours on the phone with my family in Mexico as the health of my father is deteriorating rapidly. Needless to say I spent many hours crying and making sense of that. In short, by Friday I was so very tired. The program of the WEF started at 7:30. I would have need to leave home by 6:30. I decided to surrender to the Joy of Missing Out. I forgave myself in advance for all the wonderful speakers I missed. I chose to prioritize my self-care and my children. I woke up early as always (around 5 am), I followed my morning ritual, I took kids to school, and I calmly drove to the Hague. That calm morning allowed me to be 100% present and open for all the gifts I would find there.

1. Become a student of business. An extremely successful business owner shared with us her trials and tribulations as a starting business owner: those problems that made her great. She invited us to continuously learn, learn, learn about business. Keeping an open mind to find new ways of working will keep your business and you fresh, young, alive!

1. Listen to your soul. In the panel of Personal Self-Reinvention more than half of the panelist shared that they were breast cancer survivors. All these women quit a life of “success” and chose for a life of meaning (the story of my life, without the cancer). They all gave us the same advice: If you want to be tremendously happy, healthy and successful, you must listen to your soul. What makes you happy? What makes you feel alive? Listen and act accordingly today. You don’t need to join them in the struggle of cancer.

1. Isolate yourself from toxic people. Do I need to explain this one? Why are you still hanging out with people in fear, anger, or guilt? “Misery loves company”. Take your life seriously. Just hang out with people who are daring to grow, to learn, to serve, to love, to be 100% themselves. They don’t need to be perfect, they just need not to be toxic.

1. Set realistic goals. You know I hate realistic goals. I believe goals should be exciting, they should bring you out of bed, they should give you fire in your tummy. This speaker approached it differently. She said: take baby steps. Achieve something, get excited, raise the bar, achieve something more, get excited, raise the bar, achieve something more, get excited, raise the bar, achieve something more. Not a bad idea at all! Why don’t combine both.

1. Have a coach. The most famous and successful people have a coach. The accountability and the experience they provide is thousand times worth every single cent you’ll invest. Have a coach!

1. Own your style. There were these American speakers with the clearly American style (I cannot say anything about this one, because so many people say that I do that!). There were new speakers with all the nerves clearly visible to all of us. There was one woman who stole the show the two days. I saw her speaking twice. She had one and just one point in her lectures. She was very zen, very minimalistic. Her tone of voice was even monotone. She didn’t have the strong intro, 3 points and strong conclusion structure. Still she managed to touch my heart both times. What did it was not her technique, but her authenticity. She was grounded in her strength and totally concentrated in letting across that one point. Besides the fact that her points were awesome, her staying away from speaking techniques and staying close to her style was in itself a huge wow!

1. Purpose vs truth. “Find your purpose and from that everything will be easy” is such a painful suggestion. How do you find your purpose! What do you do while you haven’t found it. What if we better concentrate in stop lying to ourselves. What if we better concentrate in answering what is true for us and take action based on that. It might not be pleasurable. It might bring you out of your comfort zone, but your mind, heart and gut will know why you do it.

1. Try and fail, but never fail to try.

1. Listen to understand vs. listen to win. When we listen to understand we make the other feel seen, valued, included and loved. Suspend your judgments and listen the other person into being.

1. Melt stress. Melt the stress by going to the core source of it. Is there any disengagement of your 3 intelligences? Is your brain convinced? Are you convinced that you have to do it? Is your heart engaged? Do you want to do it? Is your gut in? Do you believe you can do it? So you’ll find the source of your stress and you can take remedial actions easily.

1. Your story, your treasure. Both my lectures were based 100% in my stories. The first one became a pick life experience for me - this doesn’t happen often. What differentiate you from business competitors, from other students, from other job applicants is your story. Get comfortable telling your story. Make it personal. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be human. You’ll connect heart to heart and you’ll get not just the job/contract, but a network of wonderful people around you.

1. When I’ll have ________, I’ll ___________. Forget about that! That keeps you small and constantly dissatisfied. It’s fine to have goals. Get inspired by them. Ask instead: Is this moving me closer to my dreams or not?

1. When was the last time you told yourself: I love you? Don’t live in the external world. Live in your heart. Come back home and remind yourself how precious you are.

1. Make it a daily practice to be quiet. Give yourself daily the opportunity to see if you are becoming who you want to become. Is what you are doing providing you joy? Sit quiet and listen in. Stand up and take action accordingly.

1. Come alive: Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

1. Celebrate yourself. A lady shared her story of survival after a terminal illness. She prayed: “If you give me another change, I will lead a really happy life”. She did! As an Indian, she said no to arranged marriage. She married the man she loves. The illness would have made her sterile. She has two children. Against all odds, she open a hotel. Most importantly she celebrates live every day.

1. Striving vs Thriving. Striving comes from the need of belonging. We need to remember that we don’t need to be, do or have anything to belong. Let go of your old stories. Get into the heart space. You will see how powerful and worthy you are. You will start thriving.